When a chicken meets a fox

in Bush memoriam (1) - Watch out though, Mr Barack...

- Hello, Mister President.
- What ? What is it, son ?
- How are you, Sir ?
- Who on the earth are you, son ?
- I am the agent for a friendly government and people, Mister President. My country -
- What ? Poultry ? Okey. I guess that means I have to hear you… After all, it’s my job, isn’t it ? Here, have a seat... So you work for a tiny – what ? godfather you said ?
- Government, Mister President. Friendly government. By friendly government, I mean an investor-friendly government, Mister President. In fact, I’m here to -

- Relax, son. Relax. Have a drink and stop giving me that “ mixer resident ” piece of ssssahrumm… Might be some sort of a welcome greeting of yours after all… Exotic mark of deference, may be ? By the way, where in the hell is my Goddamned translator ? Waiter ! Go find him. Bring him in quick, all right ? Anyway, son. Be sure that my people and I protect tiny - what ? Gowanions ? Gollywogs ? Gomorrians ? Gonadoes ?…
- Government, Mister President. Pardon my mispronunciation... Government and people – by people I mean a friendly industrious easily trainable and disciplined workforce, Mister President. A workforce that’s living in a country free of -
- Don't be so nervous, son... And please ar-tic-u-late for God's sake. Sounds like you’re munching your tongue or som’. But don’t worry. I think I get your point anyway. So your people is sort of feeble, right ? I can relate to that... As a matter of fact, I am in charge of that sort of things… I mean protecting feeble people...
- Able people, Mister President. Able people as well as stable people, Mister President. Our political and economic stability has become so strong that it's been a long time since we’ve freed all movement of capital, Mister President.
- What? What movement of people ? What do you mean by freeing people from… what - capital you said ?
- No... No... Please don’t be misunderstood, Mister President. I didn't mean that at all, Mister President. I meant... well... you know... I meant no restriction on movement of profit and dividends... I meant relaxed policy... I mean -
- Relaxed police ? Are you joking ?
- No. No. No such things on my mind if I may insist… I mean relaxed po-li-cy... relaxed foreign exchange controls if I may put it that way…
- Relaxed controls ? I think I got this one… Did you say “ relaxed controls ” ?
- Yessss. I did say that, Mister President.
- What ?
- Yes, Mister President. I did say “ relaxed controls ”.
- Did you mean “ relaxed controls ” ? Answer by "yes" or "no".
- Yes.
- “ Djeez ” ? Did you actually say “ yes ” ? Does your “ Djeez ” means “ yes ” ?
- Yes.
- You said “ yes ” didn’t you ? Shake your head in approval.
(shaking head)
- Fine. I definitely dig that nod. You gave a nod, didn’t you ?
(shaking head)
- Good. Now does that mean you permit 100 % ownership of foreign business ?
- Yes.
- What ? You said “ yes ”, didn’t you ?
- (shaking head)
- Fine. Fine.
- I’m so glad you understood, Mister President. I mean that's...
- Menace? What menace ?
- No no. No menace at all, Mister President. No restrictions at all... No import and export restrictions... Nothing but relaxed policies... relaxed… relaxed holidays as well...
- Tax holiday ? What tax holiday ?
- No no no. No tax holiday at all. No taxes... No taxes at all... I mean... I mean wide range of exemptions, Mister President…
- Extortions ? What extortions ?
- No no no. No extortions at all. I mean… I mean no… no such things as consumption taxes for instance…
- Concussion-axes ? What in the hell-
- No ! No ! Please ! I didn’t mean that. I meant no… no import duties… no…
- Abortive what ? You… you creep !
- No ! No ! I mean… I mean incentive packages including up to 15 years tax hol-
- Taxoil ? What taxoil ? You mean taxes on oil ?
- No taxes. No-tax-at-all, Mister Pres-.
- Tank's Atoll ? Jeezeesss... I give up.
- You what, Mister President ?
- Listen son...
- Yes, Mister President ?
- What ?
- I mean… yes ?
- You said “ yes ”, didn’t you ?
- Yesss.
- Ok. Let’s start it that way… do you... hear me ?
- Of course I hear you Mister President.
- Damn it ! Enough with that sister resident crap ! Say “ yes ” or “ no ”. Do you understand me?
- Of course I understand you, Mister President.
- What resident ? For Godness sake, from now on say "no" or "yes", get it ?
- Yes.
- Yes ? Right.... Now answer to me : do-you-un-der-stand-me ?
- Yes.
- Right on… Now this question : do you...
- Do I, Mister President ?
- What ?
- I mean Yes, Mister President.
- What ?
- Yes.
- Ok. Let’s start it again. Do you...
- Yes ?
- Do you... like us ?
- Sure… I mean Yes.
- What ?
- Yes.
- Fine. Now, do you...
- Yes ?
- Do you like... me ?
- Yes.
- Great. Now, do you...
- Yes ?
- Do you...
- Yes ?
- Do you want to make war with me ?
- What ? What war ?
- What “ what what what ” ? Does that mean “ no ” ?
- No no… I mean… yes.
- What ?
- I mean yes, Mister President.
- What resident ?
- No… I was just saying yes…
- Catch ya ! You said “ yes ” didn’t you?
- Yes… I mean…
- Yesamin ? Thank you Yesamin.
- What ? What did you say ?
- Sure. Walid and Youssef too. I knew I could count on you all – I mean you guys and your tiny country of … well Gomorria or whatever you call it, son.
- What ? I think I’ve been led to… I mean it’s pretty sad, I’m-
- Ben Laden ? Saddam ? Sure we will… Don’t worry Yesamin. We definitely will… But now, if you please, I must leave.
- What… I… it’s…
- Right. Me too. But still. I’m a busy man, you know… I must be on my way.
- But I… I…
- Sure. Bye bye then. Thank you for your cooperation.
- I mean… I didn’t.... I’ve got to talk over this to…
- Sure. No offense... It’s over there… Straight ahead. Right in front of you, as a matter of fact. Watch out though : I’ve been told that the ones used by winged creatures have run out of paper.

(1) Text and collage work JFPaillard. © 2003